The Screws story is true, funnily enough, and was debated at length on a different website last week.

It is, of course, telling only half the story - the half that makes it appear a cracking back page lead.

The apartment is owned by West Ham and is the place they put up new signings while they settle and acclimatise.

Should Tevez stay (which we all know ain't gonna happen) he's had his year and should now be looking to buy himself a place.

Meanwhile, Frenchy has arrived and needs use of the temporary pad while he seeks out a place of his own.

Makes perfect sense to me...