LSD T wrote:
Get rid of the technological race for faster easier-to-ride bikes and put them on BMX's, no gears.
This sorts the men from the boys when it comes to hills, of course going downhill they can perform tricks to save the crowd from dying to death from boredom.

Only one Grifter style mudflap allowed to be added after each circuit, to enable the motorbike sounds.

Ask them all politely to not use drugs.

We're all responsible adults here, no need for draconian piss testing, just look in their eyes to see if they're telling the truth.

Either that or go the whole hog and use nano-enhancements, fuck it use motorbikes and call it speedway.
Boredom averted.

No need to thank me.
I think you'll find that BMX's have one gear.  If they had no gears they would not go forward when you pedalled.  Single speed.

All types of cycling are brilliant, but  I can see why people would find road cycling dull as dishwater until such time as they understood what was going on and why.  I suppose cycling, cricket and football are all pretty similar in that respect - all sports with almost endless variety and subtlety to what is going on, where you can learn loads and appreciate the game so much more as you learn.

I ride a single speed jump bike (basically a 26" (MTB) wheel size BMX) - cos BMXs are fun but 15 stone and 37 you look like a cock on a BMX.  I also ride road bikes, SS road bikes and Lo Pros (early 90s steel frames time trial bikes with smaller front wheel than back), normal MTBs, and geared jump bikes.  10 bikes at the moment, but I am determined that with some proper discipline I can get that down to 9.  My favourite frame I own is a time trial Team bike built for a former TdF King Of The Mountains winner - currently single speed but shortly to be restored to what it would have been like in 1995 when it was being ridden professionally.

If anyone has not seem Danny MacAskill in action he is well worth a look...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cj6ho1-G6tw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z19zFlPah-o