HertsHammer wrote:
I didn't see the Schalke match, but the Malaga game definitely had Clarke and Lee as the pundits on quest.

Yep. Clarke and Lee for Malaga, Dicks and Lee for Schalke. They were all shit. 

Rob Lee did make the point at half time during the Schalke game that one of West Ham's midfielders needs to be a Lampard type (and at least TRY and get in the opposition box to support our forward) as if Lampard types weighing in with 10-15 goals a season were ten a penny and available to West Ham for peanuts two weeks before the season kicks off. 

He played the  'pundit safe' Shearer card though and stopped short of directly critisising Kevin Nolan, who I think was supposed to be this player for us during the game, but clearly had a massive attack of 'Can't be arsed' and was largely fucking shit, due to it being an utterly pointless pre-season friendly that we shouldn't even be talking about. 

Dicks was pretty cringeworthy. Despite being on the club payroll, he went even further and eagerly and deliberately took the populist fan position, suggesting that we fuck the Lampard type right off.

"West Ham should be playing two strikers up front at all times, especially at home in the league" 

You could almost sense a crescendo of whooping and cheering across Essex as several tens of thousand voices screamed at their TV's in support of The Terminator and immediately decided that Dicks should be relieved of the ladies and be handed the role of first team manager immediately, before the start of the second half. 

The Quest host did all he could to try to keep it interesting, but they all, like the rest of us looked bored silly. 

I agree with anyone who said that pre-season games shouldn't be seen or heard. I still haven't been able to 'unsee' that ridiculous claret 'J' that Joe Cole had shaved into his head at Southend in 2002. The fucking cock-womble.