Oh I've tried the ticket office Monkle, but THEY won't tell you. It's all super hush hush and coy come & get me games.

But on the off chance anyone from the ticket office is reading this I'd like to pass along my heartfelt appreciation for their ceaseless professionalism, good cheer and commitment to top quality customer experience.

I'm going off some of the Saturday football dads if I'm honest. I go out of my way to offer up a bit of chit chat about whatever fucked up club they support, but do you think they ever ask me about West Ham? YEAH RIGHT.

"Who've Arsenal got this weekend then?"
"Hull away but Wilshere's hurt and I'm not really sure what Wenger's been doing lately and zzzzzzz... zzzzzzz.... zzzzzzzzz"
"Yeah, I'm looking to get a WH season ticket actually. Got a couple connections in the ticket office. Good pals."
*crickets*